the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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