i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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