Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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