Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize