I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
