i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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