are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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