i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm getting married
To pizza
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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