..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
