Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
