she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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