thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think I died a long time ago.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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