wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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