I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize