when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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