why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
