8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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