You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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