My room smells like vodka and shame
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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