I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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