Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
