so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
from now on my penis is your penis
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its not stalking. its research.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We need to get me chipped asap
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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