She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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