Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we should paint friendship bongs
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