I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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