Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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