And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
