After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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