In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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