yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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