Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
