is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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