I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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