In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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