i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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