she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
