my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My pussy is not your playground.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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