The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize