Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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