A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
