Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
