Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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