I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
