mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
