I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
