Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
