What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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