had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
