We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
