I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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