Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
