Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
