My sheets look like a crime scene.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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