We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
