Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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