i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize