Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
