I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
