I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
