make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
