coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
