So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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